Tape them under your nose, so that you look French.
Make the Eiffel Tower out of them.
Play 52 Pick Up.
Throw them at mimes and old people.
Have a sword-fight.
Dip them in wine.
Put an abnormally large amount of French Fries in your mouth and attempt to say "Bon Jour!"
Use them as band-aids and put them on boo boos.
Paint a picture of the Louvre using a french fry as a paintbrush.
Use them for acupuncture.
See how long you can have a French Fry in your nose before you get tempted to eat it.
Hand them out to French artists in the park.
Use them as darts and throw them at a target.
Make a French robot.
Disguise them as French bread.
Wear them on your head like a beret.
If you have any other brilliant ideas of ludicrous things to do with French Fries, or would just like someone to talk to, feel free to comment below. If you're wondering where the picture is from, I got it from another blog.
I wonder if anyone has ever made a movie about an old man who carried balloons around and had a talking dog. Oh, yes. They have.
Now, speaking completely of original movies with cliche characteristics, Disney movies are all the same. No one wants to admit it, but it's true. So what are the characteristics of a cliche Disney movie?
Most of them are remakes of old fairytales.
The girls are always pretty.
They all have some sort of animal who is the main character's best friend. If you don't believe me, just look.
Pinnochio has a fish.
Cinderella has mice and birds.
The Black Cauldron has a pig.
Aladdin has a monkey.
Pocahontas has a hummingbird and a raccoon.
Mulan has a dragon and a cricket.
The Emperor's New Groove has a squirrel.
Tangled has a frog.
Oh, and the rest are ABOUT animals.
The girls usually love family and reading.
They tend to be a bit controversial. Don't believe me?
...The crows in Dumbo were uneducated, poor, lazy, and loved jazz music. They were also voiced by African-Americans.
...Peter Pan was racist against the Native Americans, and included a song called "What Makes the Red Man Red?"
...The Siamese cats in Lady and the Tramp had poor grammar and mixed their R's and L's.
...The apes in The Jungle Book. Well, they can be racist against a lot of people.
...A song in Aladdin includes the lyrics "Where they cut off your ear if they don't like your face. it's barbaric, but hey. It's home." This is racist against pretty much the entire Middle Eastern culture.
They tend to have some goofy character.
They all have a villain.
Most of the characters do not have both parents.
There is always singing.
I hope you see my point. Disney is getting quite a bit cliche. If you disagree or would just like someone to talk to, you can comment below. The picture is from here.
Why is it that according to world-renowned intellectual, Julian Smith, grandmas are better than grandpas? Is it because they're the ones who make delicious cookies? Or could it be that they absolutely dominate at checkers? Maybe it's because they are expert doily makers. There is a small possibility that it's because they make tapioca pudding that is to die for. (I would literally die before eating tapioca pudding that my granny made.)
Anyways, be what it may, I think that there is no evidence to support Julian's opinion and that he should be put in prison for showing favoritism when it comes to the dying race of grandparents, which concludes my very short and concise complaint against Julian Smith. Now, it is your turn to join the movement for equality of the grandparents. If you would be so kind as to watch the videos below, comment, and vote on the poll, grandparents all over the world will heave a sigh of pure happiness and relief just knowing that there are people out there that support the newly founded movement.
Random fact: In the United States, there are over 80 million grandparents.
Another random fact: the picture came from here.
John Locke was named after a 17th century philosopher who described individuals as "tabula rasa" or "blank sheet."
The average pilot of a tv show costs $4 million, but LOST's premiere episode cost somewhere between $10 million and $14 million.
In France, the show is called "Lost: Les Desparus" which has two connotations--the missing people or the dead people.
Parts of the plane were used as percussion instruments in the soundtrack.
The pilot attracted 18.65 viewers.
The actors who play Charlie, Jack, and Hurley all auditioned for the part of Sawyer.
Kate was originally supposed to be an elderly woman who was separated from her husband, but they ended up using that idea for Rose.
Charlie's band was originally going to be called "The Petting Zoo."
The symbol on Boone's shirt is Chinese for the number 84, which, when switched around is 48, the number of survivors on the island.
The number 42 is taken from Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy, where it is the answer to life, the universe, and everything.
Evangeline Lily almost didn't get to be in LOST, because the creators thought that her Canadian citizenship might be an issue.
In the original script for LOST, Jack was supposed to be killed by the monster when they arrived at the cockpit.
Ethan Rom is an anagram for "other man."
Ranked #5 on Empire magazine's 50 Greatest TV Shows Of All Time
Anthony Cooper, Locke's dad, was named after an 18th century philosopher who studied under John Locke.
It won 55 awards, including a Golden Globe, and was nominated for 256 other awards.
Danielle Rousseau was named after Jean Jacques Rousseau an 18th century Enlightenment philosopher who believed that civilization corrupts people.
Season 1 has some similarities to William Golding's novel Lord of the Flies.
The name Richard Alpert is a reference to the real life ex-Harvard psychologist Dr. Richard Alpert (aka Ram Dass).
Of the six mysterious numbers, 23 is used the most. Kate gets turned in
for $23,000; 23 people die when Hurley stepped on a platform/dock and it
collapsed; flight 815's gate number is 23; Jack's seat number is 23;
and the room number where the Dharma group do experiments is #23.
Charlotte's full name is Charlotte Staples Lewis, which is after C.S. Lewis, and shows the unpredictable nature of time on the island.
Jeremy Bentham, Locke's pseudonym, also alludes to an English philosopher.
Rose and Bernard are the only survivors who don't die or leave the island.
The amount of money Hurley says he won in the jackpot changes, at least twice.
Please feel free to share your newly accumulated useless knowledge with every neighbor, coworker, and great aunt that you know.
As I'm sure you're already aware, Halloween is coming up. You know what that means? It means you have to watch a whole bunch of movies that make you pee your pants, fling popcorn in your neighbor's face, and eat candy corn like the kids in Lord of the Flies ate wild pigs. By the way, Lord of the Flies is a good example of a dystopian novel. A dystopia is a utopia that goes all wrong and becomes the opposite of a utopia for some people. If you still have no idea what a dystopia is, read The Giver or volunteer for the hunger games. Okay, now that all you unintellectual people have a vague idea of what this world is coming to, I will move onto more difficult, important subjects.
Doilies. Doilies are perfectly sewn rags that old people use at tea parties and to cover a deceased person's face. They've been around for about as long as Harvard. Yet, they are still considered fancy. In my opinion, they probably soak the doilies in bleach and glue every night to keep them looking nice. Anything that's been in use for 400 years tends to look a little crusty and...old. My advice for you is:
If you are eating at someone's house and they serve you a cookie on a doily, don't accept it. It probably hasn't ever been washed in the 400 years that it's been around. Remind yourself that the only reason that it isn't the color of chocolate is because they bleach it. I'm afraid that if you were to even touch an ancient doily, your bones would rot and you would become a mummy.
However, they have now invented a special kind of doily that even those aware of their side affects will cautiously use. They're called "disposable doilies." This means that after one day in use, the owner can throw it away without worrying that by getting rid of it, they are disgracing the name of their great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother who sewed it when she was coming across on the Mayflower. Gosh, civilization is progressing so much that now we can throw away disgusting doilies. Ah, but don't get too happy, my loyal reader. Disposable doilies are the first step towards a dystopian earth. What a cheerful future we have in store for us.
Happy Halloween. I hope that this story enabled you to accomplish some of the necessary Halloween traditions, such as peeing your pants and eating candy corn.
I hope that there were at least a dozen spontaneous sobs when you all realized that your favorite person in the world, me, didn't post when I was supposed to. And why is that? Well, I feel as if someone has been yelling "ROOM SERVICE" in my ear every 3 seconds for the past couple of hours. In other words, I have a headache. Yes, you can feel sorry for me all you want, or you can cheer me up by going away. No, just kidding. I would never disappoint someone like that. Instead, I am just going to post three hours later than I usually do, because you know what? A little suspense never killed anyone. Well, except that one guy.
Anyways, waffles. To start off, here is an inspirational song about the history of waffles.
1. Make a castle out of them.
2. Throw them at people.
3. Play heads or tails.
4. Start a game of checkers by conveniently putting syrup in only half the squares.
5. One word: Air hockey.
6. Disguise it as a pancake.
7. Bite eyes and a mouth in one and use it as a mask.
8. Give all your friends a motivational speech about the inequality between waffles and pancakes. I mean really. Why is it that pancakes always get better treatment?!
9. Hand them out to homeless people in the park.
10. Go to the check-out at a store and ask if they accept waffles as a currency.
11. Eat them like a llama. (If you are not sure how to do this, just watch Emperor's New Groove or contact Beatrice, my friend who's hoping to get a Ph.D. in eating like a llama.)
12. Make a hundred waffles, sew them all together, and use them as a blanket. Or pillow. They both work.
13. Make puppets out of them.
14. Create a waffle sculpture in the shape of a turkey and show it off to all your acquaintances.
15. Invent a way to be intimidating while eating them.
Although, if you want to have cool friends, you had better share your waffles. Putting someone else before yourself never hurt anyone. Well, except that one guy. Anyways, if you're wondering where the picture is from, it's from here.
