Shocking Stalkers

Have you ever felt like you were being followed?

I have. It was when I was thirteen and I went out for ice cream with my best friend and her little sister. We were having a perfectly happy, uneventful time eating ice cream. But when we started walking the two miles home, we had the feeling that we were being followed. We turned around, and sure enough, this old Mexican guy who was wearing pink bell-bottoms, a jean jacket, and a cowboy hat. And let me tell you, the combination was pretty intimidation.True story. My friend even snapped a picture, because we knew that someday we would be telling the story and no one would believe us. Well, here's my proof.

It's a little bit blurry because it was taken on a phone, but at least it's proof. Anyways, so this guy followed us for two miles, and he managed to catch up to us at one point and when he did, he reached out and touched my curly blonde hair and said with a wretched smile on his face, "hey, beautiful." Needless to say, we ran for our lives. And we hid in my friend's house. Forever. 

So tell me your shocking stalker stories.

Humiliating Histories

I am very relieved and partially surprised that people (or maybe just trolls) are still reading my blog, even though I gave up on it four months ago. But, in my effort to bewilder and inspire the world, I have come to the conclusion that I will carry on my blog's legacy by telling the world all the fascinating tales that come from the ingenious mind of Emerald Avalanche. And since my blog is back, I have decided to kick off the year with a weekly question.

From here.

This week's question is......Have you ever found it impossible to think of your most embarrassing moment?

For some people, it's hard to think of your most embarrassing moment because you have just had way too many. For people like me,  it is hard because we don't really get embarrassed.

Well, today I came up with my top two most embarrassing moments. Now when someone asks me what my most embarrassing moment is, I won't spend 5 minutes twiddling my thumbs, 3 minutes saying "ummmmm...", and 2 minutes making up some story. So are you curious what my top two are? You better be.

1. While on a plane to Panama, I had the good fortune of sitting next to a nun from Costa Rica. This nun just happened to be wearing a white habit. Anyways, about 30 minutes into the flight, the flight attendant came by and gave me a coke. So I set the coke on the tray in front of me and then turned around to talk to my mom, who happened to be sitting right behind me. And then... we hit some turbulence. And the coke jumped off the tray and landed all over the nun's lower back. I was given the pleasure of telling this nun that she had coke all over her white habit. After I did, she stood up and moved to another seat. And on the back of her habit, it looked like she had just had some major bowel movements. My family laughed at me.

2. When I was 5 years old, I was over at my best friend/neighbor's house and she told me some ridiculously funny joke that made me need to use the bathroom. I was also afraid of her bathroom. So like any normal little kid, I ran out the door and started running up to my house. Some other neighbors of ours had this dog named Coby who loved to chase after anything that was running, especially if it was a child. So this dog is running after me, and I am running for my life, and finally, Coby caught up. And he bit me in the butt. Moral to story: I peed my pants and later had to explain to my mother why I had urine all over me. I was mortified.

So what are your most embarrassing moments?