Baffling Buses

                                             I was not on this bus. This bus is from here.

"When traveling by bus, it is always difficult to decide whether you should sit in a seat by the window, a seat on the aisle, or a seat in the middle. If you take an aisle seat, you have the advantage of being able to stretch your legs whenever you like, but you have the disadvantage of people walking by you, and they can accidentally step on your toes or spill something on your clothing. If you take a window seat, you have the advantage of getting a clear view of the scenery, but you have the disadvantage of watching insects die was they hit the glass. If you take the middle seat, you have neither of these advantages, and you have the added disadvantage of people leaning all over you when they fall asleep. You can see at once why you should always hire a limousine or rent a mule rather than take the bus to your destination." - Lemony Snicket

My experiences on buses are probably some of the most interesting and influential moments of my day. For example, one day when I was riding the bus into the city with a friend we will from now on be calling Beatrice, a blind man did not see that I was there (hahaha... I am so pun-full) and actually sat on my lap before Beatrice told him he was crushing a human being, not a seat.

Another time, when I was riding the bus back from the city with a handful of friends, there was a group of maybe five or so hippies all strumming their way to the beach. One of the hippies, who was covered in fake henna and playing the guitar, was not expecting the bus to turn so sharply, and fell on my lap, guitar and all. Of course, my friends did not come to my aid, but merely laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation.

Those of course are just two examples of my strangely bizarre encounters with buses. Maybe if you get on your knees and promise me some tapioca pudding, I will condescend to telling you my other wonderful stories involving buses. No, actually I have never had tapioca pudding, and don't plan to. But if you'd like, you could give me some money or a bald poodle or something else of interest.
Also, if you, my sometimes fickle reader, have something contrariwise to say about buses or have anything important to say at all, you can report to my secretary, Gertrude, or just post a comment below.