2. Cackle instead of giggling and make sure to add in lots of vowels.
3. Stare down at people with your eyebrows doing the tango.
4. Pretend like everything is a secret so that everyone assumes you are a mysterious character.
5. Get some serious muscles that make everyone run away in embarrassment.
6. Use fancy vocabulary that makes even the most sophisticated of men resort to their dictionary.
7. Talk with a Russian or Finnish accent.
8. Walk like an injured athlete mixed with a devilish cat.
9. Act as though anything anyone says was directed at your grandmother.
10. Wear cologne that smells of your menacing aura.
11. Loudly smack while chewing gum.
12. Clang pots to announce your arrival.
13. Brag about all the spelling bees you won.
14. Replace your left hand with a hook or Christmas ornament.
15. Wear tap shoes down an empty alley.
16. Eat cotton candy in front of little kids, without offering them any.
17. Don't drive. Hitchhike.
18. Yodel happy birthday to all the pedestrians you see.
19. When you meet someone and they reach forward to shake your hand, give them a dead llama handshake.
20. Always leave things unsaid.
21.
The copyrights to this list belong to me, Emerald Avalanche, but I had some help from Cai-Jo and January Galaxy.
I think I'll wear tap shoes down an empty corridor... I've always wondered how that would feel.
ReplyDeleteokay who's doing this with me?
ReplyDeleteWell my throat has been getting awfully sore from yodeling all the time, so I may take a break and just work on the face-- maybe the muscles too.
ReplyDelete