I hope that there were at least a dozen spontaneous sobs when you all realized that your favorite person in the world, me, didn't post when I was supposed to. And why is that? Well, I feel as if someone has been yelling "ROOM SERVICE" in my ear every 3 seconds for the past couple of hours. In other words, I have a headache. Yes, you can feel sorry for me all you want, or you can cheer me up by going away. No, just kidding. I would never disappoint someone like that. Instead, I am just going to post three hours later than I usually do, because you know what? A little suspense never killed anyone. Well, except that one guy.
Anyways, waffles. To start off, here is an inspirational song about the history of waffles.
2. Throw them at people.
3. Play heads or tails.
4. Start a game of checkers by conveniently putting syrup in only half the squares.
5. One word: Air hockey.
6. Disguise it as a pancake.
7. Bite eyes and a mouth in one and use it as a mask.
8. Give all your friends a motivational speech about the inequality between waffles and pancakes. I mean really. Why is it that pancakes always get better treatment?!
9. Hand them out to homeless people in the park.
10. Go to the check-out at a store and ask if they accept waffles as a currency.
11. Eat them like a llama. (If you are not sure how to do this, just watch Emperor's New Groove or contact Beatrice, my friend who's hoping to get a Ph.D. in eating like a llama.)
12. Make a hundred waffles, sew them all together, and use them as a blanket. Or pillow. They both work.
13. Make puppets out of them.
14. Create a waffle sculpture in the shape of a turkey and show it off to all your acquaintances.
15. Invent a way to be intimidating while eating them.
16. Use them as a hairnet.
17. Don't share them.
Although, if you want to have cool friends, you had better share your waffles. Putting someone else before yourself never hurt anyone. Well, except that one guy. Anyways, if you're wondering where the picture is from, it's from here.
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