17 Things To Do With Waffles

I hope that there were at least a dozen spontaneous sobs when you all realized that your favorite person in the world, me, didn't post when I was supposed to. And why is that? Well, I feel as if someone has been yelling "ROOM SERVICE" in my ear every 3 seconds for the past couple of  hours. In other words, I have a headache. Yes, you can feel sorry for me all you want, or you can cheer me up by going away. No, just kidding. I would never disappoint someone like that. Instead, I am just going to post three hours later than I usually do, because you know what? A little suspense never killed anyone. Well, except that one guy.

Anyways, waffles. To start off, here is an inspirational song about the history of waffles.

1. Make a castle out of them.

2. Throw them at people.

3. Play heads or tails.

4. Start a game of checkers by conveniently putting syrup in only half the squares.

5. One word: Air hockey.

6. Disguise it as a pancake.

7. Bite eyes and a mouth in one and use it as a mask.

8. Give all your friends a motivational speech about the inequality between waffles and pancakes. I mean really. Why is it that pancakes always get better treatment?!

9. Hand them out to homeless people in the park.

10. Go to the check-out at a store and ask if they accept waffles as a currency.

11. Eat them like a llama. (If you are not sure how to do this, just watch Emperor's New Groove or contact Beatrice, my friend who's hoping to get a Ph.D. in eating like a llama.)

12. Make a hundred waffles, sew them all together, and use them as a blanket. Or pillow. They both work.

13. Make puppets out of them.

14. Create a waffle sculpture in the shape of a turkey and show it off to all your acquaintances.

15. Invent a way to be intimidating while eating them.

16. Use them as a hairnet.

17. Don't share them.

Although, if you want to have cool friends, you had better share your waffles. Putting someone else before yourself never hurt anyone. Well, except that one guy. Anyways, if you're wondering where the picture is from, it's from here.

Puerile Things To Do... In A Hotel Elevator

• Welcome people who enter by saying "I've been waiting for you."
• Climb up the elevator shaft with your teeth.
• Start a game of monopoly in the middle of the elevator.
• "I spy something grey!" and keep repeating until someone answers.
• Start a mosh pit.
• Ask, "Did you feel that?"
• Sit in the middle of the elevator and growl at anyone who bumps you.
• Turn around and say, "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here."
• Bring a luggage carrier from the lobby, pretend like you're a monkey, and start screaming and banging   on the bars.
• Every time someone gets on, yell "Hide it! Quick!" and then put your hands behind your back and whistle innocently.
• Drop something, and then when someone bends to pick it up, yell, "hey, that's mine!"
• Bring a mic and start up some karaoke.
• Ask, "does anyone have a phone I can borrow?" and then call one of their contacts and talk for hours.
• Act like you're about to cry and ask people, "have you seen my pet scorpion?"
• Have loud conversations with your other personalities.
• Make sure that all the buttons on the button panel are always pressed and lit up.
• Bring some perfume and start spraying everyone that enters.
• Start a game of Twister.
• Tell everyone about the history of hairnets.
• Hesitantly get off the elevator, and then get back on, and go back and forth, pretending that you're having a nervous breakdown
• If any of the passengers have luggage, ask them if they brought any toothpaste. If they did, beg to borrow some.
• Start a lemonade stand with coffee from the lobby.
• Group hug!
• If anyone tries to enter in a swimsuit, tell them, "Socks and shirts or no service."
• Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
• Every time the doors are sliding open, pretend like you have the force.
• Sing "This is the song that never ends"
• Bring a water gun and starting shooting everyone.
• Tell stupid jokes.
• Pretend like everyone on the elevator is deaf, and start yelling "room service!" right in their ear, and then keep yelling it until they get off.
• Try to order pizza on the emergency phone.
• Any time someone gets on, offer to give them a tour of the elevator.
• Talk on your cellphone about some guy who's on the loose, then when you have everyone's attention, yell, "I think I found him!" and point at the most innocent looking of the group.
• Play dead.

I got some of these from various websites. I also had help from January Galaxy and Candy Panda. And I made up the rest.